Relationship breakdowns are at the heart of many of life’s trials and tribulations, and release deep-seated emotions that trigger extremes of behaviour. We can all recognise extreme violence as one of the worst, but often other unexpected emotions come to the surface.
Anyone who has had a partner cheat on them with someone else can relate to feelings of hurt, betrayal, anger and sadness. What some of our psychologists have also seen when working with patients in this situation are other emotions that are unusual in this context.
Why Am I the One Feeling Shame?
One of these emotions is shame, which is surprising, given that the aggrieved party is really not the one who should be feeling like this. However, this is part of the personal re-examination that takes place in any life-changing situation. If it is accepted and embraced, shame is an opportunity for the person to self-evaluate and look for a causal factor that could have been changed.
Shock Creates a Vacuum
Our Brisbane City Psychologists have also worked with people who have expressed feelings of complete emptiness, and don’t understand why they are not angry, upset or vengeful. For them, this complete absence of emotion is scary, but there is a reasonable explanation. In times of trauma, it is a psychological mechanism that kicks in to protect the mind, but once the shock has passed, it usually dissipates with time.
Why Do I Still Feel Possessive?
The usual reaction most people have when they find they have been betrayed is to cut the person out of their lives, declaring that they never want to see them again. This is not always the case however, and they sometimes find themselves wanting them back. This possessive emotion is an acknowledgement that their cheating partner was once theirs, not as a possession per se, but as someone who once promised exclusivity.
Let Down and Annoyed
It seems a trivial emotion for something as devastating as a breach of trust, but often, people are just plain annoyed. Future plans have been destroyed, all kinds of changes must now take place and it is all just too much. They expected better of their partner and this is just one big let-down.
The Final Relief
Finally, the one emotion we often see is relief and this comes about simply because the person has known intuitively for some time that something was wrong, but didn’t know what. Once the affair is out in the open, the decision is theirs to either work it out together, or move on.
We can help you sort any of these or other emotions you may be feeling after a betrayal, using some of our effective psychology strategies. Why battle this on your own when a quick call for an appointment can have one of our professionals helping you?