The Secret to Lasting Love
by Brisbane City Psychologist Sarah Skellern
What is the secret ingredient? The most recent research on romantic bonding has identified a key ingredient that makes a difference between a happy, satisfying relationship and a disastrous one. Over 30 years of attachment science and research has determined that this one factor is the best predictor of happiness and love.
So what is it? It may sound like common sense, but it is a different thing to understanding it, the secret ingredient is called emotional responsiveness. Emotional responsiveness particularly shapes the interaction between you and your partner, which Emotionally Focused Therapy refers to as the dance, at critical moments of vulnerability and need.
What It Is and What It’s Not
Emotional responsiveness is not about seeing that your partner is emotionally off-balance and offering advice or trying to solve their problem for them. It is not about a heady intellectual conversation.
Instead, it is about being able to see, tune into and hold your partner’s emotions with them. Research says this type of responsiveness is the secret to lasting love.