What is EFT Couples Therapy?
EFT for couples is an evidence-based experiential therapeutic approach used in relationship counselling that prioritises building strong and secure connections between partners first and foremost.
The main goal of EFT is to help couples create a secure attachment, which means having a close, safe, and loving bond and increasing each individual’s coping and overall stress management.
Securely attached people navigate the trials of life with greater ease than those who are insecurely attached. There is nothing like knowing that a precious loved one has your back to help you to face what life throws at you.
Overcoming Relationship Issues with EFT Therapy
EFT for couples focuses on the importance of emotions and attachment processes in organising interactions between two partners. It uses emotions as the agent of change in these interactions. Research has shown that it produces a 70-73% recovery rate from marital distress and a 90% rate of significant improvement after 10-12 sessions.
EFT works by the Relationship Therapist expanding on each partner’s emotional responses, re-framing the problem in terms of the negative interaction cycle itself rather than any individual’s fault, and finally creating new and more flexible interactions between the partners. The goal is for each partner to feel a secure and trusting bond.
What an EFT Couples Therapy Session Looks Like
Through EFT, your Relationship Therapist works with both partners to build a strong alliance and bond of trust with each other. Following this, the work involves both partners starting to understand the destructive cycle at the heart of their relationship distress. This is achieved by slowing the process down in the session and focusing on underlying emotions and the needs driving these.
Each partner’s experience is seen as valid, and each is allowed to explore their emotions further. Once there is more safety in the relationship, and both partners are aware of their vulnerable feelings when the cycle is in full swing, they will be asked to communicate these vulnerable feelings and needs to each other. In this way, new interaction patterns are formed, and both partners can communicate more securely.
EFT for couples finishes with a consolidation phase, during which any remaining problems are overcome, and the new interaction patterns are strengthened.
1. Johnson, S.M. (2004). The practice of emotionally focused marital therapy: Creating Connection. New York: Bruner / Routledge.