Breakups, Separations, Divorce – Working Through the Pain

Happy and fulfilling relationships give our lives purpose and challenge ourselves to grow emotionally and intellectually. Our associations with others in the workforce, through community involvement, in friendships, family groups and romantic relationships all enrich our lives and extend us as human beings. Romantic relationships are some of the most powerful, requiring as they do, a deep commitment to and trust in another person.

When romantic relationships work they satisfy most of our emotional needs, although everyone still needs interactions with friends and family, and their own creative outlets. However, when they break down the emotional turmoil is enormous. Most of the time people are able to work through the situation with time and the help of family and friends but for some, it is overwhelming and they are unable to move on.

Sometimes Peer Support is Just Not Enough

We have worked with many clients in this situation and witnessed first-hand the distress, anger and helplessness experienced by people who need more than peer support. These are the situations where effective psychology can make a real difference and help clients work through their deep feelings to achieve a better outcome.

A separation or divorce is a life-changing event especially if it was not by choice. The loss is every bit as painful as a bereavement and in a lot of ways, the feelings being experienced are very similar. We explain to our clients that their situation brings with it the same loss of companionship, support and shared future plans and dreams that occur with the death of a loved one.

Sometimes people experience anger and resentment at an intensity they have never previously felt, and this frightens them as they think they are abnormal. They suppress these feelings while at the same time worrying about their mental state. We know that this is perfectly normal and at Brisbane City Psychologists we help our clients express these emotions in a controlled and positive way.

Counselling Helps to Release Strong Negative Feelings

Suppressing these feelings and others like sadness, fear and confusion will only prolong the grieving process, and they may surface in other unexpected ways that further exacerbate the situation. Dwelling too long on feelings like hurt and blame drain energy and vitality and can spiral into depression.

A separation or divorce is an ending, but it is also a new beginning. With emotional support from family and friends, and our professional assistance, the pain will lessen with each day that passes. Our goal is for our clients to leave us well and happy, and ready to start a new phase of their lives with confidence and optimism.