Many of us learn from a young age that approval from others only comes when you achieve a certain standard, and there are negative consequences when you make mistakes. At school, for example, children are praised when they get full marks and provided with negative feedback when they fail. It is natural for human beings to want to be praised, seek approval and avoid criticism. The dilemma with this, however, is that we can internalise these expectations and lead a life where nothing ever feels quite good enough. You may think that high expectations help you achieve goals, stay motivated and perform well. Perfectionism is different from just high standards, however, in that the standards are unrelenting, impossible to achieve and can lead to mental health problems.
The constant pressure to achieve “perfection” and failure to perform leads to low self-esteem, self-blaming, anxiety, stress, depression and eating disorders. If you also hold perfectionistic expectations for others, you may risk feeling disappointed, frustrated and experiencing relationship difficulties.
If you fear failure and disapproval from others and have high expectations for yourself (e.g. I should be able to do more than this, or I must go to the gym every day), it may be worth seeking help.
